you got to know when to hold 'em. . .

or know when to send 'em. . .

The subject of kindergarten has been on my mind A LOT lately. All 5 year olds as of September 1, 2009 are eligible to begin kindergarten next fall and Bergen will be turning 5 in July. Our choice is to either send him "on time" with the other 5 year olds or redshirt him for a year and send him at the age of 6. So, to send or not to send? This has been my question for the past 6+ months and continues to rule my mind as I don't have a finalized answer yet.

I have asked everyone and their brother who has had to make this decision how they decided. I have heard research to support either decision. I have heard this, I have heard that, I have heard it ALL . . . . and at the end of the day we just need to decide what we think is right for Bergen and our family.

And what I actually think is that it is right is to redshirt him. But for some reason I just can't commit to that decision. I wish I could just stand up, throw my fists in the air and say "we are holding off on kindergarten!!" but I can't fully embrace that idea and I am trying to figure out why.

Well, truth be told I think I know why. It will be really hard for me to see all of Bergen's friends go on to kindergarten. . . . and my friends go on as well. We have been in classes with many of these parents and kids for 3 years and to think of them all moving on while we wait another year is difficult. We have made some GREAT friends and I hate to think of us going our separate ways. I, however, at the same time recognize I can't base his entire academic career on his preschool friends (as much as I love them!) and that he will gain new friends just as fast as he made his preschool friends. And for me, I will also make new "mom friends" in time and will also hope to remain friends with those moms whose kids do start kindergarten next fall. . .

Lars is ready to commit to this decision, but I am just not there yet. It isn't that I don't think he is ready for kindergarten - because we both think he is ready for it. We are trying to project into the future thinking of those oh-so lovely puberty years and even thinking of him graduating high school at 17 vs. 18. That is a HUGE difference.

The ONE thing that might make us consider kindergarten next year is if we were to open enroll him into the school district that we are hoping to get him in to. We live in a great school district, but our home is within WALKING distance from the elementary school in another great district. When we moved in, we were told it was no big deal to open enroll, but have since learned it is very hard to get into the adjacent (and walking distance) school district. So, one thought is to try and open enroll him and if he gets in, he will go. If he doesn't, we will hold him back a year. But again, I just don't know if he should go next year and don't necessarily want to put us in a situation making a wrong decision if we were to get into the district.

Okay, that was a lot of rambling and I apologize. I will close with one more thought. . . . After talking with what feels like hundreds of people about this decision there is one piece of advice I heard that continues to play over and over in my mind: rarely does anyone ever regret holding back, but you hear of people regretting their decision to send. And we all know life is too short for regrets.