29 June 2008
26 June 2008
Bergen is now in full force with his summer activities. He started a park program through our community ed center on Mon-Thurs mornings. I was very concerned about putting him in an (almost) daily class during the summer and even the day before we started I was worried I made the wrong decision, but I am so glad I did!! He is L-O-V-I-N-G it! He has several friends in his group (many from preschool and ECFE) and really enjoys all the activities. When I drop him off in the morning we are barely even out of the car before he is saying, "bye Mom. . . see you later! Have a good morning. . . ." Any doubt I had about enrolling him in this program has been completely erased.
17 June 2008
My poor little honey.
Bergen: A doctor
Me: A doctor?
Bergen: Yeah. So I can listen to my mama's heart.
Bergen: How many books can we read tonight mama?
Bergen: But I am not two anymore, I'm three
Me: Three? How did you get so big?
Bergen: (laughing) Not three, fifteen!
Me: Fifteen!?! Do you think you will still let me snuggle in bed with you at night and read books when you are fifteen?
Bergen: Sure you can
Me: Can I get that in writing?
15 June 2008
As the four of us sat around the table, Lars and I couldn't help but comment on how happy and blessed we feel. Since starting our pursuit to parenthood almost 5 years ago, there has been underlying sadness of our struggle to become pregnant and from our miscarriages. That isn't to say we didn't experience happiness or joy over those years, but in all honesty they were hard.
The parenthood dream doesn't always comes easy and sadly sometimes it does not come at all. We always say a silent prayer come every Mothers or Fathers Day for those that are pursuing the dream of parenthood year after year but always falling short. I am attaching an editorial piece Lars submitted to our local papers last June. . . just another example of why we are so blessed to have this loving, caring and supportive Dad in our lives.
On the third Sunday of June we pause to celebrate the men in our lives who have successfully achieved fatherhood. We find just the right greeting card and debate the countless gift options to best honor the parenting skills of the recipient. What young man doesn’t expect that he, should he choose to, will join the ranks of feted fathers in the years ahead?
On this Father’s Day, I’d like to challenge my fellow Minnesotans to think about how our community can best honor and support those men desperately seeking to gain entrance into the realm of fatherhood but who have thus far been unsuccessful in their quest. You undoubtedly – but most likely unknowingly – see these men every day in your workplace, religious community, favorite coffee shop, and, perhaps, at your own family gatherings.
These men may have a medical condition that inhibits their ability to provide the necessary physiological components to produce a successful pregnancy, or they may be men married or committed to a partner with her own medical impediment. They also could be pinching pennies to save the money necessary to begin an adoption or artificial reproductive technology procedure.
Regardless of the cause, these individuals all are battling a silent but pervasive medical condition called infertility. Infertility is a disease or condition that results in the abnormal function of the reproductive system, which results in the inability to conceive after one year of unprotected intercourse (or 6 months for a woman over 35 years of age), or the inability to carry a pregnancy to live birth. It affects men and women equally. In approximately 40% of cases; it is the female partner who carries the diagnosis and 40% of the time, it is the male partner. The remaining 20% of cases are attributed to a joint diagnosis or unexplained causes.
According to the CDC, there were 7.3 million Americans diagnosed as infertile in 2002. That represents one in eight couples of childbearing age. This number has increased by 20% since the last count of 6.1 million in 1995.
Men in particular face an isolating and solitary journey to fatherhood as they deal with infertility issues. The SPERRM (Society to Promote and Enhance Reproductive Rights for Men) Project serves as an anonymous e-support network for men dealing with infertility issues. If you, your spouse or partner, or a friend seek a network of other men who’ve dealt with or are facing the uphill battle to become a father, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
More than 6 million American families will suffer from infertility at some point in their reproductive lives, yet fewer than 1 in 4 employer-based insurance plans include any coverage for infertility treatment. While federally mandated coverage currently does not exist, 15 states offer some type of employer-mandated coverage, including Arkansas, Louisiana, Texas, and West Virginia. Minnesota is not among them.
During the time that my wife and I pursued infertility treatments, we were fortunate to receive some degree of coverage from my employer. While we have been blessed with two natural successful pregnancies, this glimpse into the incredible financial, emotional, physical, and spiritual tolls exacted on those dealing with infertility has forever changed our lives and the lives of our family and friends who supported us.
Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) plans to introduce the "Family Building Act of 2007", to require coverage for the treatment of infertility. As with every complex public policy, there are supporters and opponents to the idea of expanding services to and resources for those individuals and medical providers seeking to help build families through infertility treatment or adoption.
It is an issue that won’t be resolved quickly or without discussion by all stakeholders – doctors, employers, insurers, and patients – but I’m hopeful that in a state that prides itself on the value of strong families, world-class medical products and services, and public policy innovation we can help lead the way in addressing this issue for the thousands of Minnesotans and millions of Americans seeking to become fathers.
In the interim, you can support aspiring fathers (and mothers) by becoming involved with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association’s Midwest Chapter, at http://www.midwest.resolve.org/,
In closing, to those fathers being honored, father well.
And to those men still striving to join them, strength and honor to
13 June 2008
MR. OPPOSITE (a.k.a. Bergen): Bergen has started to state the opposite of almost everything I say - or use his new favorite answers of "Nothing" or "I don't know" (I better get used to those, right?). Here are a couple examples of Mr. Opposite in action:
Me: Bergen loves chicken nuggets (which he does!)
Mr. O: No I don't
Me: Really? I thought you loved them
Mr. O: No! I! Don't!
Me: Did you have a great time at our play date today?
Mr. O: No I didn't
Me: I thought you had a fun time seeing your friends?
Mr. O: No
Me: How was school today (after picking up a happy, smiling boy)
Mr. O: Bad
Me: Really? I thought it looked like you had a great day?
Mr. O: No I didn't
Me: It is time for bath
Mr. O: No it isn't
Me: Yes it is
Mr. O: It is time to color
Me: How was your day today?
Mr. O: Bad
Me: Really? What was your favorite thing?
Mr. O: Nothing
Me: Did you enjoy (insert whatever fun activity we did that day)
Mr. O: No
And after Mr. Opposite strikes we will often see him slump into this pose:
He will now slump so low that his hands will actually hit the ground. And typically after "the slump", he will stomp into his room to "pout because I am so mad". Ahhhh. . . . the "fabulous" fours. I know he isn't technically four yet, but I think it is safe to say close enough!
09 June 2008
For the past week she has been struggling to fall asleep for her morning nap - usually taking anywhere from 45-90 minutes to fall asleep. And then *if* she does finally fall asleep for her morning nap, she doesn't take an afternoon nap. Today she played in her crib for over 2 HOURS while I waited for her to fall asleep. . . which just never happened.
Bergen had the same behavior pattern. . . and he also did the same thing when he transitioned to no afternoon naps. One day he was taking 3 hour afternoon naps and the next he was done. Just like that. And for a mom that really enjoyed those couple hours of quiet time THAT was a hard transition.
So once again this mom is bracing for another hard transition. . . tomorrow we are going to do only one nap and see how it goes. Wish us luck!
06 June 2008
05 June 2008
The goods news is that Bergen is finally free from his fear of bugs and is not afraid of these little worms at all! In fact, in usual 4-yr-old boy style he got out a stick and was trying to hit the worms off the bush; which he was quite good at and tended to hit the worms in my direction. I did my best not to run away doing my usual Mariah Carey high-pitch scream. . . but as these little worms flew through the air towards me, I wasn't all that successful. Yuck!
I know what many of you are thinking (especially you Barbara!) . . . stay off the internet and stop reading these horrible, tragic stories! But this was the story being told on the Today show the exact moment I turned the TV on for Bergen to watch some TPT this morning. I didn't seek out this story. . . it found me. These stories always seem to find me. Which doesn't help this already overanxious mom. . . .
04 June 2008
Lars and I rarely exchange gifts but he surprised me yesterday with Coldplay tickets! I am extremely excited. . . we haven't been to a concert together in years! It will be like the good 'ol days when we used to go to concerts all the time. Plus seeing Coldplay in concert will be amazing!
We are thrilled to be celebrating the great eight. As many of us married folk know, marriage is made of ups and downs (okay, I guess it really can be described as the best of times and the worst of times) but we both agree there isn't anyone else we would rather be on the roller coaster journey of life with. Looking forward to what the next eight have in store for us!
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